You know who you are. You’re living in a house designed for six kids, three Labradors and a netball team, but the only thing left roaming the halls is you, the vacuum, and maybe a disgruntled spouse.
Welcome to the “This House Is Too Big for Me Club.” Membership is exploding, and the entry criteria is simple: own a property so large it needs a small army to maintain, but refuse to move because you’re terrified of having nowhere to go.
The suburban secret nobody admits
Let’s call it what it is. These homes are eating people alive. Lawns that belong in a golf course brochure. Bedrooms so empty you could host a yoga retreat. Gutters filling faster than a wine glass at a book club. The owners know it’s madness, but they’re paralysed.
Why? Because the market is tight, and if they sell, the house will be snapped up before they’ve had time to Google “downsizer apartments near me.” They know they’ll be standing there, suitcase in hand, with nowhere to sleep but the neighbour’s couch.
So instead, they stay put, raking, mowing and dusting like unpaid caretakers of museums no one visits.
Why everyone else is annoyed
And here’s the controversial bit: in the middle of a housing crisis, people are starting to notice. Families are packed into rentals like sardines while giant homes sit half-empty, kept alive by retirees who don’t actually want them anymore. It’s not selfish, it’s scared. But it’s a chokehold on the market all the same.
The excuses on repeat
Talk to any downsizer and you’ll hear the same lines. “We’d love to move, but there’s nowhere to go.” “We don’t want to rent.” “We don’t want to put our things in storage.” Fair enough. Nobody at seventy wants to live out of boxes like a uni student. Then there's the real reason. "We can’t possibly leave this suburb.” Translation: the local barista knows their order, the tennis club is only a walk away, and the thought of starting fresh somewhere else, even the neighbouring suburb, feels harder than mowing the lawn for the 400th time!
But at some point, the excuses start sounding like reasons to keep suffering instead of living.
The way out
Here’s the truth: there are ways to leap without landing on your face.
- Sell and negotiate a rent-back so you can stay put while you look.
- Push for a longer settlement to buy yourself months of breathing room.
- Make your next purchase subject to selling your current home, so you’re not left dangling.
A smart plan and an agent who knows more than just how to put up a sign, is the real secret.
The government’s tiny olive branch
Even the government is trying to nudge things along. WA offers downsizers stamp duty concessions of up to 50 per cent if you buy off-the-plan apartments. Federally, pensioners get up to two years’ grace before sale proceeds hit the asset test. Not game-changers, but enough to sweeten the deal.
The takeaway
If your weekends revolve around garden chores, if spare rooms are only visited by spiders, and if the house feels more like a job than a joy, you’re a gold member in the club. The good news? Membership comes with an escape hatch. Move when you’re ready, on your terms, and swap the never-ending upkeep for the freedom to actually enjoy the life you’ve worked for. Or as Nike would say - just do it.
📞 Feeling like your home’s outgrown you? Let’s make your next move easy.
If you’re ready to downsize but not sure where to start, I’ll help you plan it, step by step. From longer settlements to rent-backs and finding your next perfect home, there’s always a smart way forward.
Contact Paulette Contessi on 0438 908 264 and let’s turn “too big” into your best move yet.
Want more real estate tales from the wild west (of Perth)?
You can catch more of my columns in Western Suburbs Weekly, every Thursday,
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— Paulette Contessi, CEO & Founder Contessi Properties
0438 908 264
paulette@contessi.com.au
